YOU NEED A FAMILY TECHNOLOGY AGREEMENT

Gosh, I fear for our children and the onslaught of technology in their world!  I have felt for awhile now that we needed to have concrete rules in our home. So for family home evening last night we sat down with our last two teenagers at home.  As a group we discussed cell phones, ipods, and tablets, and came up with our own Family Technology Agreement.

Do you think there is a need?

I love technology! I think it is absolutely amazing, enlightening, and fun!  But just like anything good, it can be a trap and lead to antisocial behaviors, laziness, and corruption.  It can be found in our homes, our schools, and now even our churches.  I believe every single family should have cell phone/technology rules put in place.  Not because we don’t trust our kids, but to protect them!

Why have boundaries?

We know some of the devastating effects of smartphone addiction.  Especially in teens.  Just take a look these statistics for 2018.  Here are some that scare me just a little bit.

• 95% of teens have access to a smartphone and 45% say they are online almost constantly.
• 58% of teens say that people expect them to respond immediately to notifications.
• 52% of teens have extended stretches of time when they are all sitting together, not talking to each other, while on their smartphones.
• 72% of teens witness students using phones during class every day to watch videos, play games, and use social media.
• 80% of teens typically spend time on their phones after they go to bed but before they fall asleep.
• 9 is the number of times/hour, on average, teens check their phones while doing homework.

If they are only experiencing real life 55% of the time, how on earth will that lead to happiness?  Success?  Personal relationships?

OKAY PARENTS, LET’S UNITE!

Here are the rules in our home and feel free to copy them, or tweak them to make your own family technology agreement.  Again, having rules doesn’t mean that we don’t trust our children.  It actually builds trust while showing that we care about and want the best for them.

 

 OUR FAMILY TECHNOLOGY AGREEMENT

• In the morning devices are to be used only after their bed is made and they are ready for school.  In the summer months I will most likely change this to having their bed made and their individual chores done.
• No phones or personal devices allowed on Sunday.   At all.  All day.  You may take them to church and use them for scriptures only.  After that, they are to be put in the basket for the day.  TV and movies with the family are allowed.  **This may seem harsh, but we can’t believe how happy our teenagers have become on Sundays!  They play together, they laugh, they COME ALIVE.  There is more interaction all around.  There is less contention, they have become creative.   Now, I’m not saying it wasn’t a struggle at first, it was miserable!  A head’s up: If you decide to adopt this rule, you better plan to stare addiction square in the face and be ready to hold fast to your commitment.  There will be “nothing to do,” and they’ll be “SO bored!!”  There will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.  It will be ugly for a time.  But it will get better!  I promise!!
• No devices during family time, scripture time, or at the table.  The person/people you are with ALWAYS take priority over your phone.  It’s a good habit to get into while at home and will hopefully extend to when they are with friends.  Basic manners.  Be in the moment with the people you are with.  You are not a rude person.  Don’t allow your phone to change that.
• Mom and dad will check grades every Monday. With good grades and no missing assignments you can govern yourselves on this. However, if grades are struggling (ie. D or below) or if there are missing assignments, mom will keep your device until all homework is done and assignments are turned in.
• Disrespect to parents at any time is cause for their technology privilege to be taken away!
• Mom and dad have access to all passwords.  Every device is checked frequently and thoroughly with willing compliance.  Every post, text, comment, or share should be made using a moral filter and to spread good.  Do not involve yourself in conversations that would hurt others.
• Do not share pictures and videos of others without their consent and knowledge.  Respect others’ privacy.  That’s what you would want as well.
• Phones/devices go into the basket every night at 9:00.  Weekends at 10:00. Our eyes and brain need time without blue light and our stomachs need a bedtime snack.  Neither of which will happen with our devices in our hands.  🙂
• If your phone/ipod seems to be negatively affecting your personality or sweet disposition, that is cause to re-evaluate if  you are able to handle the responsibility and privilege of having a device.
• Remember that connecting with people/things on your device is never as important as connecting with your Father in Heaven.   If you are going to give time to one, be sure to give time to the other.  Nothing is more important than your personal relationship with God.  Allow time for personal scripture study and always say your prayers.
• You will mess up.  We will take away your phone. However, we will sit down, talk about it, and start over again. We are always learning.  We are on your team and we are in this together.

Our responsibility to raise decent, well-adjusted kids is one that we will be held accountable for one day.  Teaching them how to live in a world of technology without being a slave to technology is crucial!  We, as parents, have got to be the examples. President David O. McKay said, “Children are more influenced by sermons you act than by sermons you preach” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1955.)

 

Don’t forget that these are Heavenly Father’s children too.  He wants to help them succeed.  He wants to help YOU succeed in being the best parents that you can be for them.  Seek his help daily! As a parent you are entitled to certain inspiration regarding your children.  Use that source of light!

 

I would love to hear if you have other suggestions that have helped in your home.  Let’s all help each other!  Leave your ideas in the comment section below.

Speaking of happiness … if you need a good family night idea on it, check this one out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image by natureaddict from Pixabay